By Piers Anthony

Be cautious what you would like for . . .

“I’m really a wise lady who may make any guy a great spouse. yet no guy sees that. No guy is drawn to my brain or character, simply my whatevers. So here's my want: I’m board stiff. i need experience, pleasure, and Romance.”

So starts off Piers Anthony’s thirty-eighth Xanth novel, during which inappropriate Kandy seems at her mirrored image within the water of the shallow good and sees luxuriant midnight-black hair attaining right down to her breathtakingly slim waist, matching the darkish eyes in her wonderful face. A torso that comes as regards to absolute perfection. She is man’s wish. that's a part of the matter. within the shallow magic of the good, she asks that her want be granted.

anything occurs. A unexpected whirlwind surrounds her, lifting her up and ripping off her garments. She is altering one way or the other. Then she falls flat at the ground.

actually. She has been remodeled right into a flat, stiff board with knotholes for eyes.

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Extra resources for Board Stiff (Xanth, Book 38)

Example text

However light and clever this stanza may sound, the gesture it makes undermines both moral and authorial authority. With the discovery of the ottava rima stanza, Byron had found the necessary formal complement to the radical content he wished to convey. Thus when the narrator claims that the ottava rima form affects his content, the wording of the remark suggests something other than an ordinary awareness of the 'verse contract'. The phrase 'as the stanza likes to make it' appears to impute agency to the verse form, adding an affective dimension to the mechanical ones of rhyme and metre and turning the conventional relation between form and content into a kind of intersubjective event.

The radical publisher William Hone stood trial three times between 1817 and 1822 for publishing satirical broadsides that used the forms of nursery rhymes and the Catechism of the Church of England to satirize the king and his government - almost exactly the period in which Don Juan appeared. Hone successfully served as his own counsel in each of the actions. Byron, whose close friend John Cam Hobhouse was imprisoned for a similar infraction, would have known of Hone's trials and his brilliant strategies of self-defence from accounts in the contemporary press.

2) This is the Byronic mode of Shakespearean allusion that led G. Wilson Knight to claim that while Shakespeare merely wrote the plays, Byron lived them. 24 'For this effect defective comes by cause' is from Polonius' speech describing the madness of Hamlet to Gertrude and Claudius in Act II, scene ii, line 103. Polonius is making his case for Hamlet's insanity ('What is't but to be nothing else but mad? . That he's mad, 'tis true, 'tis true 'tis pity, / Pity 'tis, 'tis true - ' ) . Byron alludes to Polonius' delusion that he is being analytical despite his absolute and tautological diagnosis.

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